The Lumba Lesson in Loyalty
As a man navigating the complexities of life and partnership, there is one fundamental litmus test you must never forget: value the woman who stands by you when you are at your most vulnerable—sick, weakened, and in need—not merely the one who shares your company in the vigour of youth and health.
Consider the legendary musician, Daddy Lumba. We are told his illness reached a point where he required assistance for the most basic, private human functions. Do you truly comprehend what it demands of a woman to live with a man in such a state? To be his nurse, his confidante, and the unwavering source of his peace? Maybe, even cleaning his poo. That is the definition of a priceless partner.
This principle extends to the crucial decision of where to build a life. I am aware of numerous African men who, after achieving success, have made a conscious decision to relocate from abroad back to Ghana or Nigeria. Tellingly, their wives and partners often remain overseas. The reason is simple: in the West, the power dynamic shifts in their favour. The societal structure empowers them in a way that challenges the traditional masculine role.
Any African man of substance who desires to live with a woman in the West is, to my mind, verging on insanity. For him, it is a form of self-sabotage. The request from a woman that he should chain his potential to that environment is, frankly, a wicked one.
A legend of Daddy Lumba's stature, living abroad, would at best be confined to a modest three or four-bedroom house, likely with several children. How could he possibly enjoy the status his talent and success deserve?
He would be stripped of the ecosystem that facilitates his greatness: no house help, no dedicated driver, no personal manager, no community of supporters around him. He could not even have his own private studio at home. His life would be one of mundane chores and logistical struggles, a far cry from the celebrated existence he has earned.
When a man "makes it," he returns to the soil where he is celebrated, not merely tolerated. He returns to where his success translates into a quality of life and a level of respect that is simply unattainable for most in the West. As a woman, the choice is then hers: find a way to follow the king to his kingdom, or accept being left behind. There is no middle ground.
Having travelled to over 50 countries, including Germany, the UK, the USA, and Canada, I can state with authority that the vast majority of African celebrities living abroad lead lives indistinguishable from ordinary people. Many are working 12-hour night shifts just to make ends meet. Is this the life that was expected for a genius like Lumba? What "better life" would he truly have had?
The proposition is absurd. Should he have lived in bondage so a woman could hold his peace and his golden balls hostage? He made the only decision a wise and self-respecting man could make: he returned to Ghana. Serwaa chose her own path. The consequence of that choice is hers alone to bear.
Any man who has truly lived abroad and understands the relentless grind and the diminished social standing it imposes on an African man of stature, understands this truth in his bones. A lion does not belong in a cage, no matter how gilded.
Credit - Chris-Vincent Agyapong
